You might be feeling lonely right now because God actually wants alone time with you.
Have you ever thought of that before? This is a really difficult time of year for so many people. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one and you’re grieving, maybe you had a falling out and you’re still mad, maybe you just are physically alone. But in those moments of loneliness, you are never alone. God is with you and He wants time with you.
When I lost my baby on October 27th, I was physically alone (my husband Mike was in Texas) but I felt so emotionally alone too. The doctor gave me my ultrasound results like I was just another check up. And while I was bawling, she looked confused and offered no warmth. I was only 2 months pregnant but I had loved that baby with every ounce of my soul. Miscarriage is weird too because instead of grieving a past with someone, you’re actually grieving your future without them.
When I got into the car to drive home, alone, from that appointment, I tried to call Mike but he was on the plane to Texas and his phone was off. So then I called my mom but she didn’t answer. And then I turned to the one I should have gone to first – God.
Looking back, I believe God orchestrated that moment where I would be alone and lonely so that I could lean on Him. I turned on STAR and Zach Williams’ song Sunday’s Comin’ was on and this is the line I heard:
So let your soul start singing and dry those tear-stained eyes
There’s a new life and you can breathe in
You’re gonna see the light on the other side
Keep on holdin’ on there’s gonna be a breakthrough
Keep on holdin’ on
Don’t stay buried in that grave
If He can roll the stone He can send the darkness runnin’
Might feel like Friday but your Sunday’s coming.
God was talking directly to me through those lyrics. He bundled me up in His kind, loving arms and He let me know that He loves me and that He loves my baby. And if that baby couldn’t be on earth with me, there is literally no better place for that baby than to be with Jesus. And after I spent my long drive home with God, He was able to surround me with other people to help take care of me too. Friends and family brought me food and distractions.
But first I had to be alone and lonely with Jesus. So that He could minister to me the way I needed to be, so that He could put together my broken pieces and so that He could fill me up with His truth and love before another human did.
If you’re lonely right now, I feel very strongly that that’s because God wants to fill that void instead of you filling it yourself. So ask Him to. He is so faithful.
He always has our best in mind. He loves you and I know that He loves me. Which is why I trust that He knew best that this baby belonged with Him.
But wow is that a hard place to get to. And I need to remind myself daily of that truth. Somedays feel dark and sad but God is faithful to bring the light in. And that’s true for all situations. Promise.
Midday Show Host, STAR 99.1