I Wanted A Miracle, But God Didn’t Give It To Me

God doesn’t always work things out the way we would like Him to, but He is always faithful, loving and working things out for our good. 

I keep thinking about that truth today because my dad just gave us the news that my grandma passed away. And I have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude to God for being so kind to me. I know that probably doesn’t make sense, so let me explain. 

Yesterday, my dad had texted that my grandma wasn’t doing well. Her health had been declining for the past year but she suddenly couldn’t walk and didn’t want to eat. I called him to see if I should go visit her. My dad is very positive and he always wants to speak life over situations, so he wasn’t flat out telling me that it could very well be the last time we would be able to see her on this side of Heaven. So I read between the lines and I felt God nudging me to just go. 

When I got to my grandma’s house, she was in and out. But I got to sit with her and hold her hand. I was able to give her a kiss on her head and tell her that I loved her a few times. And before I left later that night, she had enough clarity to tell me she loved me too. She passed away just a few hours after I left.

On my dad’s side, I have a lot of cousins that my grandma had to split her time with and she always lived just far enough away for me to not see her as much as I would have liked. So on my way to her house last night of course what I wanted was to have more time. Another chance for us to get together and share life stories. I would have wanted God to perform a miracle in her body

But even though God didn’t work it out the way I would have wanted Him to  – He was so incredibly kind to me. He gave me the opportunity to sit with her and say goodbye. He allowed me to tell her that I loved her and He was so good to me to let me have the closure that He knew I would so desperately have wanted. 

And that’s how I know that God is good

Even in circumstances that aren’t good, even in really uncomfortable situations, even in moments of grief  – God is good. And He’s always thinking about us.

My grandma was chattering a lot and I couldn’t understand everything she was saying but I so clearly heard her say, “I’m not afraid!” And now I understand what she was talking about. I feel so certain that God was comforting her in that moment, letting her know that they would be together in Heaven soon and she would have no more pain. And I think she was telling Him that she wasn’t afraid to leave this earthly body behind. 

How sweet is my God to let me witness that moment? He is absolutely a loving Father to us. He knows exactly what we need to hold on to. And while yesterday I was grieving the fact that I never had enough time with my grandma on this side of Heaven, in this moment I’m celebrating the fact that we will have eternity in Heaven together

I know it’s heartbreaking and even frustrating when God doesn’t work things out the way we want Him to. I completely understand that. But I just want to encourage you to look at the situation through His loving eyes so that you too will be able to see how kind He is to you

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,

    but the Lord delivers him from them all.

Psalm 34:18-19

Kristen James

Midday Show Host, STAR 99.1

READ MORE: How To Spend Eternity In Heaven

How has God been kind to you in difficult circumstances? Answer below!


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Kristen James


  1. Fortune C Coratti on November 9, 2023 at 1:26 pm

    Amen Kristen amen! God is always with us I feel Him all the time, I talk to Him all the time and when I need Him I know He is there for me and my family. It’s so comforting to know that. I have always known He is with me at all times. What a beautiful story and I am sorry for your loss, but just imagine her in Heaven with our Lord. What a wonderful thought.


    • Kristen James on November 10, 2023 at 12:55 pm

      Thank you Fortune!! Yes He is sooooo good to us!! I’m so thankful!

  2. Nichelle Johnson on November 9, 2023 at 1:41 pm

    First my condolences to you and Wow! Kristen James what an awesome testimony or viewpoint or perspective.
    I watched my father struggling to breathe his last breaths Jan 4 2023 as I held is life less cold hand. He did not speak that day. The day before he passed he looked so peaceful in his sleep, I’ve never seen him sleep so peacefully.
    I would have liked to see God’s kindness at that moment but I didn’t. And yes I wanted God to heal him on Earth but He didn’t. I guess I should stop having a pity party for myself and take comfort in seeing my father (Bishop Tall Johnson) praise God in his way out and pray for peace( I don’t have peace).
    Maybe one day I can get to the place your at.
    Thank you for sharing. You’ve giving me something to chew on.
    May the good Lord be with you and dad and give you continued strength.
    God bless
    Star99.1 listener
    Nichelle Johnson

    • Kristen James on November 10, 2023 at 12:57 pm

      Praying for you Nichelle! It’s so so so hard to lose someone you love so much but I know your dad is REALLY living right now in Heaven and I just know that He is so happy. It doesn’t make it any easier for us because we just miss them =( but maybe it can help you have some peace thinking about how much joy your dad has now in Heaven

  3. Julie A Wolf on November 9, 2023 at 2:04 pm

    Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing.

    • Kristen James on November 10, 2023 at 12:58 pm

      Thank you so much Julie!

  4. Jim Niezgoda on November 9, 2023 at 3:10 pm

    Sorry for your loss Kristen. Prayers & condolences for you & your family

    • Kristen James on November 10, 2023 at 12:58 pm

      Thank you so much Jim!!

  5. Mary Aloe on November 9, 2023 at 6:36 pm

    God Bless you and your family. So sorry for your loss Kristen. I am happy you got to see her one last time and she took your love to Heaven. May God rest her soul.

  6. Reese on November 9, 2023 at 8:58 pm

    Very sorry for your loss Kristen! So happy that you were able to get the closure you needed. God is so loving and kind. I’m so glad he blessed you with the time to say goodbye. Sending love to you and your family!

  7. Jodi Conaty on November 10, 2023 at 7:25 am

    Thank you for this post. It was so encouraging. I lost my 47 year old sister to suicide in May and my mom suffered a stroke at her funeral. But through it all this year, I have seen His kindness and love. When I have a difficult day I cling to those blessings.

    • Kristen James on November 17, 2023 at 10:18 am

      I’m so sorry for your loss Jodi but so thankful that you are experiencing God’s goodness this year!

  8. Lisa on November 10, 2023 at 7:45 am

    Thank you for sharing and sorry for the loss of your grandmother but great testimony! God has shown me this past year of one thing after another that he is with me and he loves me and He will take me through anything…

    • Kristen James on November 17, 2023 at 10:18 am

      I love how faithful He is to let you know that He is with you!

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