The past year for me was filled with way more pain, sadness, grief, fear, loneliness than I’ve ever experienced before. And, looking back, I can have gratitude for those feelings.
Pain is actually really important. Of course we don’t want to feel pain, we want all the good feelings all the time right? But over the past year I’ve really grown to appreciate the “bad” feelings.
Besides the fact that I have a toddler and if I tell him not to touch the really hot cup of coffee and he touches it anyway, he will quickly learn what “hot” means. That’s one good thing about pain.
First in September last year, my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Wow I had never felt fear like I did that day when he went to the ER and the weeks leading up to his surgery. Thank God he is fully recovered and has absolutely no side effects!
Then in October, my grandma (dad’s mom) passed away and I was heartbroken because we never got to have the relationship I really wanted. A week later, I miscarried. And Mike was in Texas when it happened. I was completely devastated, completely broken, and more lonely than I had ever been.
Then I started letting God heal me.
He took the broken pieces in His potter hands. He made something beautiful.
You know what’s really cool about God? He redeems every tear. And while I’ve experienced a level of grief I didn’t understand before, it’s made joy so much sweeter, peace so much gentler, laughter so much more healing. And in every season of darkness, God is so faithful to bring the light in.
Because of this new understanding of these “bad” feelings, every “good” feeling is better! Every smile is bigger! I get to feel and appreciate those emotions deeper too! And I get a new insight and understanding for those around me feeling those hard ones too.
So I just wanted to share that if you’re feeling sad, lonely, depressed etc., if you let God handle the mending, He will be so faithful to create something even more beautiful with those broken pieces than you thought was possible. And He’ll use you to be a blessing to someone else too.
He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3
Kristen James
Morning Show Host, STAR 99.1
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Congratulations to you and family! To God be the glory 👏🏽👏🏽
Glory to God! Congratulations to you and your family.
Big ugly cry right now. And I’m finding out my rescue parrot doesn’t like seeing me this way – he’s trying to cheer me up <3.
I felt your pain when you miscarried – I miscarried my 1st, and my husband was away at the time as well. To rub salt in the wound (not intentionally), my husband, over the phone as I'm sobbing, suggested that maybe I wasn't pregnant to begin with. I was mad – at him and God, and I was greatly hurt. I yelled at God – "you're not getting rid of me that easily!" What did that even mean – it was a strange thing to say. I went on to have four children, but every pregnancy had a tinge of fear because I didn't know what happened to make me lose the 1st. That was 24 years ago.
Unfortunately, that was just one blip on the radar of heartaches I've had to handle in life. You don't know how many times I begged God to let me come home. But He won't yet, so I pick myself up, dust myself off, let Him wipe the tears, and soldier on. I guess the big ugly cry is because – I'm tired. I'm tired of having to be strong, there for everyone, and in spite of the thick skin I think I developed, I'm still too squishy for this world. That's my daughter's line, and I love it. Because it describes exactly how I feel right now. Too squishy for this world. LOL! I guess after all I've been through, all the hot water I've been in, I'd rather be a potato than an egg. Let the hard times soften you, not harden you. And I guess I just needed to get that out.
Thx for letting me ramble. God bless you and your family – and a big congrats on your baby girl! <3 I smiled so hard, my face hurt when I saw that pic of Noah – big brother! <3
Whenever I experience pain or discomfort in my heart, I try to realize that it’s God telling me to trust in him and relinquish my will to follow his! Thanks for this Kristen. And remember, Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less! God bless🤔👍
God is so good. He is with us always through good and bad times. I give him all the honor and the glory.
Best wishes to you and family.
Thank you for sharing we serve a mighty God who heals the broken hearted! May the Lird continue to bless your family ❤️
Kristen first congratulations on your new baby girl coming. Do have any names yet?
Last year you had a lot of heartache and I know that it wasn’t easy for you especially losing a baby. I never had any children so I really don’t know the feelings you had and what it was to go through this sad experience but you have a strong faith and belief and God gave you a miracle, another chance, and I am happy for you. Do you have any names picked out yet?
God bless you and your new baby girl and God bless your Husband and Noah.
This is great. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
From Joann Priam
When we experience a loss or any kind of bad situation, we often find someone else that may have experienced a worse situation. My little stressful situations seem like nothing compared to what you have been through – and you, Kristen, have always been so upbeat, our sad moments are always transformed into uplifting moments – because of the ‘sunshine’ you send our way as we listen to your show on STAR99.
Your resilient spirit becomes a model for us. No matter how wrong things seem to go, God is with us every step of the way, and he lifts us out of the sadness and helps us move forward. You are setting the example for us to follow – and I can’t thank you enough!!!!