How I Stopped Feeling Guilty About Not Having A “Quiet Time” With God

As I was getting ready one morning, a wave of guilt washed over me as I glanced at my Bible sitting on top of the bookshelf in the corner of the room. When was the last time I actually sat down to read it? I couldn’t remember. I sighed, grabbed my keys, and ran out the door, knowing this would be one more day that I failed to spend time with God.

Because that’s what good Christians do, right? Every day at 6 AM, people of faith everywhere rise and joyfully glide to their kitchen tables with their bibles, concordances, commentaries, journals, highlighters, and steaming mugs of hot coffee to study God’s word, followed by at least thirty minutes of focused prayer, petition, thanksgiving, and repentance.

Real Christians do this faithfully and revel in every minute of it. And that’s the only way to have a good relationship with God. 

Right?

Right???

That’s what I thought anyway.

So when I couldn’t get it together to have my “quiet time” with God every day, I felt like God was disappointed in me. I considered that I must not really be a Christian if I don’t wake up at the crack of dawn each day excited and thrilled to dive into the scriptures.

But lately I’ve been realizing that perhaps God is more flexible than we give him credit for.

When I look at the relationships that I have with people in my life, none of them look the same. I connect with my 5-year-old son with daily snuggles on the couch. My older daughter’s favorite thing to do with me is play a rousing game of Monopoly Deal. My other daughter and I love to read books simultaneously and freak out over the good parts together. My husband and I love to go on kid-free vacations and hang out by the pool 😂.

It’s the same with my friends! I have some friends who enjoy deep, late-night conversations in front of the fire. Other friends are happy to just go on a walk during the day together and keep the conversation light and chatty. Some friends are up for adventure, excitement, and travel, and others prefer to keep things low-key. Some friends of mine love to talk on the phone, and with others, I’ll spend hours having great conversations via text or Marco Polo throughout the day.

Some friends I see and talk to a lot, others less often. But I love them all, and the uniqueness of each relationship is what makes them so vibrant and wonderful.

So why in the world do we act as though there’s a single right way to have a relationship with God?

After all, he’s a very big God. He’s much bigger than personal devotions. His attributes and character are so much greater than we could possibly imagine (Psalm 145:3). 

Look at the earth he created! The variety, the color, the creativity, the splendor, the majesty! 

And the people. Oh, how incredible he is that he created each and every human, past, present and future, as a unique bearer of his image (Genesis 1:27). 

When I think about all that God is and all that he’s capable of, the idea that sitting and reading a book is the only way to know him quickly becomes ridiculous.

I’m not, by any means, suggesting that the bible isn’t valuable. It’s God’s powerful word to us, and it’s full of truth and wisdom (Psalm 119:105, 2 Timothy 3:16-17). It’s important to consume it in some way that works for you.

So if a vibrant relationship with God for you looks like intense study and burying yourself in Strong’s concordance, I think that’s glorious. Carry on!

But consider that before the invention of the printing press in the 1400s, people did not have their own bibles! What do you think their daily relationships with God looked like?

If the way that you interact with God doesn’t seem to fit into the mold of what modern Christianity has created, that’s more than okay. Your relationship with God doesn’t need to look like mine any more than my relationship with my tween daughter ought to mirror my relationship with my husband. 

God wants us to delight and rejoice in him (Psalm 37:4). Having a relationship with him should feel like abounding joy, not drudgery or obligation.

And if you haven’t figured out what you enjoy doing with God yet, just ask him to help you. He’s always available.

Psalm 16:11 – “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.“

Melinda Ashley
STAR 99.1 Staff | Listen Now

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